Daily Weird Quotes

I can spend hours in a grocery store. I get so excited when I see food, I go crazy. I spend hours arranging my baskets so that everything fits in and nothing gets squashed. I’m really anal about it, actually.
- Cameron Diaz

One of my favourite places to be in the world is a grocery store. I love the sites, the smells, the sounds, and the glassy-eyed look on people’s faces. There’s just something surreal about the entire thing. Maybe it’s all the bright coloured packaging or the florescent lights… I don’t know. But to me each grocery store trip is a religious experience.

I wander around aimlessly most of the time, but when I’m on a planned trip… I shop very carefully. Reading the back of packages, picking the right size and price, and making sure I’m never in someone’s way through the divine aisles. I would hate to be someone’s barrier into the ethereal.

My favourite stores are the giant Krogers and local Farmers Markets. We have a lot of International Farmers Markets in my area, and while they seem to be packed day in and day out, therein lies a great opportunity to combine my 2 loves. Grocery stores and people watching.

I can’t sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I’m shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
- Ryan Stiles

Do you ever wonder who was the first person who ever picked a banana and ate it? And why did they do that? Was it a dare? Or who figured out that certain vegetables taste better when boiled and not raw?

And of course with the first person who ate anything comes the first picky eater.

By the way.. bonus quote for you: When the first person ate a chicken…what did they say it tastes like? (via @muskrat_john)

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You’ll be mad, but it will be too late.
- Mitch Hedberg

If I was a big bad monster and was chasing you, all you have to do is leave a trail of candy corn and I would turn into a sloberring mess of confection. I would be launched into my obsessive ritual of eating each little piece. I bite off each layer, and then the final 2 pieces that I eat, I eat them whole. No layering.

Candy is dandy, but liquour is quicker
- Ogden Nash

My Dad taught me that quote. I still don’t get it.